I know, I know. I’ve already lost more than half the readers before the first sentence. You’re just not all that sure about reading a post that has the words “Screw” and “Soap” in the title. Trust me, it gets worse better.

I guess this post falls into the category of a “lifehacker” type of tip. Who knows, maybe they’ve done a whole article on it already. I didn’t really do a search and see who’s a fan of this DIY tip.

But yes, I Screw Using Soap.

It all started when I was a young whippersnapper, back when I didn’t even know the difference between a Philips and a standard slotted screwdriver. Well, I still have to think about which is which. But anyhow, as I’ve mentioned in past posts, I had the amazing Build-a-Barn model of dad. He could build or fix just about anything. He still can.

Now, this was “back in the day” - but electric drills with screwdriver bits DID exist. You’ll just have to trust me. Still, they pretty much didn’t have fancy cordless drills, or at least we didn’t have any. If you wanted to work on a project far away in the corner of the backyard, you had to drag an extension cord.

We built a lot of things, and I did a lot of pounding nails and screwing screws. Sometimes, often for my obvious enlightenment, I’d be encouraged to go commando and just use a screwdriver when putting together some wood pieces. I think this was also to build up arm strength. But seeing as I’m still the weakling I was back then, maybe it was more to build up that dreaded word - character. Don’t get me started about retreiving old nails by pounding them out backwards out of wood, and then straightening them out so they could be used again…

Ok, so we did sometimes drlll pilot holes first. But either way, I had a really difficult time - especially with harder wood and longer screws. (Ah, just read that last part of the sentence back again. It’s like I’m daring you not to use your dirty imagination.)

My dad is the quiet type who won’t tell you right away what’s wrong. He’ll let you struggle along for a bit before coming to your rescue. I HATED that at the time, it drove me mad. But now I can kinda see the logic in it. Well, KIND OF.

So after struggling with the screwdriver one particular time, he said, “Just put some soap on the screw and it’ll go in easier.”

I was rather skeptical, but I tried rubbing the screw with the proffered bar of soap anyhow. To my surprise, the screws went in so much easier. I was able to finish all 10 in the half the time. This was like some sort of magical revelation for an 7 year old kid.

Fast-forward to today, and you can see multiple bars of soap in the garage, in my toolbox, and in the house. I’m one of those idiots who, when they discover a useful thing, tend to really overdo it. But yes, I would seriously recommend this tip to anyone who does any sort of home repairs or maintenance, or even just puts together storebought furniture. It goes like this:

1. Soap acts by decreasing friction between the screw and wood.
1a. Or something like that. I’ve forgotten my physics. COF?
2. Bar soap is rather small and extremely portable.
3. It’s phenomenally cheap, lasts a long time.
4. You can use it to wash your hands afterwards!
5. It lends a nice smell to whatever you just screwed together, haha.

What you do is just take any cheap bar of soap and rub the screw lengthwise on the bar so that the grooves pick up some of the soap. It doesn’t have to stick on completely. Also, don’t wet the bar - you want it dry. After doing a few screws, you’ll start to get a “groove” in the soap that makes it easier to run the screw through to pick up soap bits.

Then just screw it right into the wood, or into the pilot hole you’ve drilled. The soap should go right in with the screw, any excess may be pushed up to the head of the screw, and you can just wipe it off. This method works well even if you’re using a screwdriver drill - it will cut down on the amount of battery you’re using because there’s less torque needed. It will also cut down on the “squealing” noise that you get sometimes while using a screwdriver drill.

One of my favorite things to use this trick on is IKEA furniture. Their furniture is usually well designed, but in the past, I’ve had a really hard time with putting the screwbolts in sometimes. You know, the ones that they give you a little hex key to twist in. It’s fine if you’re doing 1 or 2, but try 20 of them in a row and you’ve got a problem. Just put some soap on it, and it gets MUCH easier.

Once, while stuck at a college apartment with bar soap, I tried using liquid soap to put together furniture. It did work, but I wouldn’t recommend this because it made a mess. Also, since liquid soap has quite a bit of moisture in it, I’m not sure if that’s good to put into wood.

A few words of caution: while I’ve NEVER had a problem with it, you probably don’t want to try this when putting together or fixing expensive, high-end furniure with a nice finish. But dang, I guess if you can afford that kind of furniture, you won’t be screwing your own screws. Also, I hypothesize that the same ease of putting in the screw, also applies to the screw coming back out. Therefore, I might not use soap where the integrity of the job is absolutely critical, or if it’s an item that receives a lot of wear. I haven’t had problems with this previously, but I’d just like to throw that out there. Our IKEA furniture has been standing for almost a decade, though.

I can never go back to a non-soap way of screwing. Did I mention I’m still the weakling I was when I was a kid? This helps me feel less like a girlie mahn. Hans and Frans, here to pump you up. And so on.